Se7en Deadly Sins
by reaper118
Summary: gluttony-greed-wrath-sloth-envy-pride-lust. Seven deadly sins. Seven ways to die.


I am just beginning to write fanfics and need to work on my writing skills

**I am just beginning to write fanfics and need to work on my writing skills. SO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Thanks. For fans of the movie I changed so things. Instead for having Det. Summerset (Shikamaru) retiring I am just having him quite that way he wont be as old as dirt. Also some of you might be wondering why Shikamaru isn't sloth, it's because in the movie the man who was punished for sloth wasn't really that last, he was a sick pedophile freak. SO guess who I chose for that role :P BTW I don't own Naruto or SE7EN I am just a fan of both.**

_CLANK_

Shikamaru lazily placed his cereal bowl in the sink and turned to walk to his room.

He slowly slid on a shirt, then pants, then his tie, then his shoes, every day had be the exact same for him ever since he first joined the Konaha Police Force.

But it would all be over soon, this was his last week.

He walked out of his house with a content sigh and proceeded to work.

Another _great_ day with another _great_ murder case.

Shikamaru stared down at a man's corpse, a pool of coagulated blood spread throughout the floor.

"Neighbor's heard them screaming at each other for like two hours, but it was nothing new. Then they heard the gun go off." Shino explained.

Shikamaru casually paced through the halls of the vic's house.

"It was a crime of passion." Shino concluded.

"Yeah," Shikamaru breathed heavily "Just look at all the passion on that wall."

Shino sighed at his co-worker's rather depressing statement.

"Yeah, well this is a done deal. I'll get the paper work."

The something on the refrigerator caught Shikamaru's eye.

"Did the kid's see it?" he asked.

Shino looked confused at him.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?" he spoke

"We are all gonna be real glad when we get rid of you Nara," Shino began ranting and as usual Shikamaru just tuned him out. "It's always these questions with you, 'Did the kid's see it?' WHO GIVES A FUCK he's dead and his wife killed him, anything else has nothing to do with us."

Shino turned and walked down the hall.

As he did he heard stomping coming up the stairs as a man he had never seen before emerged and headed towards Shikamaru.

"Detective Nara?" Sasuke asked.

Shikamaru looked up and meet eyes with the raven haired man that grinded back and him.

"I'm Detective Uchiha." Sasuke stated while holding the same smile.

Shikamaru and Sasuke walked outside.

"Sorry to interrupt you in there but I just cam in to town 20 minute ago and they dumped me here." Sasuke said as he watched the police carry off the man's dead body.

"Detective… Uchiha? I thought we could find a bar some place and get…" Shikamaru was cut off.

"Well I'd like to get to the precinct if it's all the same?" Sasuke spoke as Shikamaru set a cigarette in his mouth "There's not much time for this transition thing."

Shikamaru exhaled a puff of smoke and looked at Sasuke.

"I meant to ask you something, when we spoke on the phone before." Shikamaru began talking as he and Sasuke headed down the side walk.

"Yeah?" Sasuke blatantly replied.

"Why here?" Shikamaru slowly spoke

"I don't follow." Sasuke said with a look of confusion on his face.

"Why go through all this trouble to get transferred?" Shikamaru clarified.

"I guess the same as you, before you decided to quit." Sasuke said as he scratched the back of his head.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at that.

"You actually fought to get reassigned here… I've just never seen it done that way before." Shikamaru shrugged

"Listen," Sasuke said sounded annoyed, "It would be great for me if we could start out here not kicking each other in the balls, but you're calling the shot's lieutenant."

"Yes, I wont you to look and I want you to listen." Shikamaru said in his usual plain voice.

"Look," Sasuke clarified. "I wasn't sitting around guarding a taco bell, I've been working homicide fore 5 years."

"Not here." Shikamaru plainly stated.

"I understand that." Sasuke said with a huff.

"We'll then over then next seven days you'll do me the favor of remembering that." Shikamaru commanded and walked off.

"_Jesus Christ," _Sasuke thought to himself. _"This guy is a fucking prick."_

Monday

Sasuke laid in bed beside his wife, Sakura.

He smiled to himself as he slowly rubbed her bare are and she snuggled warmly into his chest.

He kissed her on her forehead and slid out from underneath her loving grasp.

He got dressed and set on the bed by Sakura.

**RING **

The telephone blared as Sasuke quickly grabbed it and brought it to his ear hoping it didn't wake Sakura up.

"Urgh." Sakura sighed "I thought we moved here to get away form to early calls."

Sasuke laughed as slid over top of Sakura and began passionately kissing her neck.

"Listen I got to go, alright?" Sasuke reluctantly spoke to his wife.

"Alright, but first get the crusty out of your eye, Serpico." She said with a smile and reached her hand up to pull out the eye gunk.

Then with one final kiss he was off.

Sasuke stood, shivering in the rain and holding two cups of coffee.

He watched as Shikamaru slowly gathered things from his trunk.

As Shikamaru turned away from his trunk and began walking to the house Sasuke approached him.

They walked together until they came across the officer on scene.

"Nothing's been touched, everything is as I found it." Sai stated.

"Has the time of death been established?" Shikamaru asked.

"Like I said," Sai began, "I didn't touch anything, but he's had his face in a plate of spaghetti for like 45 minutes now."

"Wait a minute, no one bothered to check his vital signs?" Sasuke asked

Sai sighed obviously annoyed.

"Did I stutter, this guy isn't breathing unless he started breathing spaghetti sauce."

"So that's how it's done around here." Sasuke said in a patronizing voice.

"Listen the in there in a pile of his own piss and shit, if he wasn't dead he would have stood up by now." Sai stated

"Alright, thank you officer." Sasuke said as he handed him the coffee that was intended for Shikamaru.

"I wonder," Shikamaru said as he and Sasuke both pull out flash lights. "What exactly was the point of the conversation you got into back there?"

Sasuke held his flash out and began scanning the hallway.

"Tell me, how many times has Barney Fife found someone who wasn't dead?" Sasuke asked.

Shikamaru didn't answer the question and veered left.

A putrid stench surrounded the room, and then they saw him.

He is an easy 300 pounds. Chouji Akimichi sat at a table with his face in a mound of pasta.

His fat rolled off the seat his was in and his skin was a pasty pale color with veins visible running down his arms and face.

Sasuke stood over the rotting corpse and had to stop himself from vomiting.

He then leaned over to look under the table.

Chouji's hands were tied together and his feet were also bound.

"How about that." Sasuke said to himself.

Shikamaru continued to check the corpse as Sasuke wrote something in his book.

"I was on this case once," Sasuke began blabbing. "Guy dead on the ground, knife in his back, got to be murder right? Turns out he did it for insure, he took the tip of the blade and suck it in between his shoulders, and must have screwed up a few times cause there was multiple…"

"Could you please be quite?" Shikamaru plainly asked.

Sasuke was shocked, angry, and most of all embarrassed so he did what any man would do and just shock his head.

"Wait and minute, I got a bucket here." Sasuke spoke

"What's in it?" Shikamaru replied

Sasuke bent down under the table and pointed his flash light in the bucket.

Within a second he jerk his head back and brought his hand to his nose.

"Oh God, its fucking vomit." he said

"Any blood in it?" Shikamaru asked unfazed

"I didn't see any but help yourself." was Sasuke's reply

As Sasuke stood there still recovering from the smell he saw a long haired white eyed Detective enter.

"Do you think it's poison?" Sasuke asked Shikamaru

"Ah, great you're here Neji." Shikamaru stated ignoring Sasuke

"Do you think its poison Nara?" Sasuke asked again.

Neji bent over and looked at the corpse.

"Cops have forensics outside, I don't know if he'll fit though" Neji softly spoke.

"There's room, light's the problem." Sasuke replied.

"Detective Uchiha would you go help the officers question the neighbors?" Shikamaru asked.

Sasuke paused dumbfounded.

"What?" he deadpanned

"Oh and send in Forensics on your way out." Shikamaru finished up.

Sasuke was pissed but he did as he was told and walked off.

Neji lifted Chouji's head up to reveal paled over eyes and dried spaghetti sauce on his face.

"He's dead." Neji spoke

"Thank you doctor." Shikamaru replied with a sarcastic spin.

Shikamaru and Sasuke drove in silence.

"You've seen my files right? You know what I've done?" Sasuke spoke confused.

"Nope." was the only reply Shikamaru gave.

"Well I did my time going door to door, I did that shit a long time." Sasuke stated.

"And?" Shikamaru asked sounding uninterested.

"The badge on my belt says Detective, same as yours." he spoke.

"Look I made a decision, and I can't be worried if you think you're getting enough time on the playing field or not." Shikamaru explained

"It's not that," Sasuke said "Just don't jerk me off, that's it."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and gazed over at Sasuke.

Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shino stood over the Chouji's corpse.

"He's been dead a long time and I can tell you it was not poison." Shino explained.

"Here look at the size of the stomach," Shino said lift up a giant bloody slob of gunk, "and the weird thing is it stretches, look he's got lines of extension and the interior wall is ripped open." He explained

"So this man ate until he burst?" Shikamaru asked.

"Not exactly, he had internal hemorrhaging and there was also a hemotoma right along there." Shino said pointing

"So he did die by eating." Sasuke clarified.

"Yes." Shino replied.

"What are the bruises from?" Shikamaru asked.

"I haven't figured that out yet." Shino told him.

"A gun pressed against his head?" Shikamaru asked.

"If it was pressed hard enough sure." Shino replied

"Look her, mark on the front side fresh with the muscle." Sasuke stood up "Ladies and gentlemen we have ourselves a Homicide."


End file.
